


Stay in my life ~

by caelesticult (orphan_account)



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Broken Promises, Enemies to Lovers, Friends to Enemies, Heartbreak, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, References to Depression, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-01
Updated: 2019-08-09
Packaged: 2020-07-28 12:33:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20064082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/caelesticult
Summary: in which he breaks the heart of the person he loved the most,,"You broke my heart Lee Taeyong""I broke mine before i could even think of breaking yours Jae"





	1. 1.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, this is the third time im posting an au here with the hopes of not deleting it again, I hope my insecurities don't get the best of me this time. Anyways, I hope the summary didn't make this au seem like a very cliche one, even though I kinda had to fictionalize it a little. I'm still learning how to use ao3 even though i've been reading on here for ages now uh so please be patient with me. 
> 
> tw // it might be kinda triggering to some people and i apologize for it beforehand,,, 
> 
> have fun reading ???

Johnny’s eyes widened slightly as he caught a glimpse of the caramel haired boy walking towards them with fury. His smile faded quickly, as if it wasn’t there in the first place, he knew what was going to happen next.

“What is he doing here?” Jaehyun said, not caring about the presence of anybody else in the room.

The red haired boy beside Johnny slowly stood up, a smile still lingering on his face, “Jae. I’m right here y’know” he said softly, only for the table to hear.

“Don’t call me that!” He snapped and this time the entire room turned around to see the happenings on /that/ table.

The black haired boy, who was currently seated uncomfortably on one of the seats stood up quickly and mumbled a “lets talk somewhere else, yeah?” before grabbing Jaehyun’s hand before walking all of them into an empty classroom.

He sat himself down on the teacher’s chair, with Jaehyun hovering right in front of him and the two other members walking in quietly. There was an awkward silence, much different to the scene in the lounge, where Taeyong was ready he would get bombarded with more questions than he had answers for.

“Jae?” Johnny spoke up but Jaehyun look up. He knew he would either go on a rampage, screaming and shouting at Taeyong or would break down into tears in front of them all. Knowing him however, it would be both.

“Can we move on from this? Please?” Johnny asked softly and maybe that was the trigger, the fact that he couldn’t move on, no matter how hard he tried because the only word on his mind was why.

“Why?” Jaehyun said, snapping his head up as soon as Johnny finished his sentence. “Why are you here?” He was too angry to even address Taeyong by his name, let alone use honorifics.

“I came back.” Taeyong said quietly. He felt the younger boy’s gaze on him for what felt like eternity before said boy scoffed and sternly said, “You shouldn’t have” before walking out of the room.

He didn’t go to any of his classes that day, he couldn’t bring himself to. So he was now laid in the center basketball court, after hours and hours of playing alone, waiting to swallow his pride and break down alone.

He heard footsteps approaching him, “What the hell are you doing here?” a soft voice asked him.

“Star gazing.” He replied quickly, not meeting the eyes of the man behind the voice.

Said man slowly seated himself beside him and laid down, staring up as if there really were stars in the sky.

“So” he hesitated for a second, but proceed to ask the older boy, “What happened to not missing any more classes?”

Jaehyun turned towards the younger, admiring his features and taking his small hand in his own. “Taeyong’s back” he said slowly.

“I know”

“Why is he back?”

“I don’t know”

“I’m scared Jungwoo” He tightened the grip on the younger’s hand with the younger slowly caressing his sweaty face.

“It’ll be all right Yoonoh, you’ll be all right.” He softly assured despite knowing, that deep down, he himself might not be all right.

That night Jaehyun didn’t return home, he went back to Jungwoo’s. He was currently on his bed, hovering on top of Jungwoo and sucking the life out of him. The younger pulled away, slightly out of breath and slightly shocked by his boyfriend’s sudden passion. “What happened? Am I doing too much?” Jaehyun asked, afraid of hurting the one person who’s done everything for him.

The young boy shook his head no before whispering “never” into the other’s hair and pulling him towards himself again. Clothes came off before they realized, two bodies now together as one, heavy breaths turning softer and quieter until they couldn’t hear each other’s mumbled I love you and drifted into sleep in each other’s arms.

Jaehyun hadn’t gotten good sleep in ages, maybe it was the passion last night, maybe it was the impatient urge to finally get over the uneventful occurrences four years ago or maybe it was just the blonde angel sleeping beside him. He got up and made breakfast for two, he knew his way around the kitchen better than most people and it was one of the first qualities he flaunted off to Jungwoo two years ago. They had been together for over two years now. With Taeyong leaving and the rest of his friends shutting themselves out to him, Jungwoo had really been the only one with him through it all. They’d met as freshmen on the first day of college and like every cliche love story, they kinda had the nerdy shy boy saving the tough looking heartbroken boy. Except, Jungwoo was not at all shy with an extremely good looking body but Jaehyun was indeed your tough body heartbroken boy. Sure they took time loving each other, but they did and they’re here now.

Jungwoo would sit in the far corner, with his group of extremely good looking friends, that included Johnny somedays. Wong Yukhei, the tall boy with the most precious smile, but behind that smile was the grin of a heartbreaker. Lee Mark, a smol one, always around Yukhei and dating the first year dance captain, Lee Donghyuck. Na Jaemin, a cutie who is also running around with a facade of being a lover but is indeed another heartbreaker. Lee Jeno, freshman and brother of the one and only, Lee Taeyong who has just returned home after four years of disappearance. Jaehyun on the other hand would either go to the library and sit with Kim Doyoung or walk around with his athlete friends.

“Jae…” a voice called him. He knew exactly who it was, it was quite hard to not recognize a voice like that though. “Jaehyun” the voice called again, making Jaehyun stop and turn around to meet the person behind the voice, Lee Taeyong. He didn’t utter a word, not until the older handed him a pieces of papers, letters to be specific.

“Not mine.” He said sternly.

“Yes…. uh… Its mine.”

“Okay”

“You should read it, was for you… uh I wanted to give it you….on the night…. uh…”

“The night you _fucked_ me and left the country. Okay.” He took the letters and left without sparing the older a second glance.

The letters had been in his bag for over a week, he neither took it out nor looked at it again. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to reopen the wounds he tried so hard to heal. It took time, way longer than he had thought it would. It wasn’t impossible, even though at times he thought it might be.

Maybe it was all the shots of vodka he just had, maybe it was the passionate sex he just had with Jungwoo, maybe it was his heart but one Friday night, he decided to finally address the elephant in the room. Jungwoo had been worn out after winning a football match and the love session they had earlier and was fast asleep next to him, which seemed to be perfect, he was a heavy sleeper. While it would have been great if he were up to support him, he knew Taeyong trusted him with these letters and it would be unfair for him to show it someone else, regardless of the person being Jungwoo.

So he started; 


	2. Letter on top.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which, we learn about Taeyong's characters and his relationship with his friends, especially Kim Doyoung.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello,,, I start school soon, in three days that is. I might (will definitely) be irregular with updates since I write as I update my chapters.. and well, I'm gonna have a lot on my plate once schools restarts. 
> 
> Also, The story has a very idk ambiguous(?) start, but I think I know where I'm going with this. I don't want it to be boring but I also don't want it to be predictable.
> 
> Anyways, please don't hesitate to leave comments or suggestions if you have any. Enjoyy!!!

* * *

_ **Panic!** _

_ It came slowly but it swallowed me whole. There I was, in the corner, trying so hard to dissolve into the wall behind me despite knowing my body physically could do no such thing. I struggled, but successfully faced the wall and took a sharp intake as I felt your aroma surround the room. Thank god I was in the right mind to lock the cabinet as soon as I got in, I thought I’d get caught. _

_ **Panic!** _

_ The paper in my hand was now shaking, I was trembling. I hadn't eaten in three days but not because I didn't have food. Mother came over to my room with food last night, extremely delicious looking. I didn’t have the will to touch it, let alone eat it. While she was there, I acted busy. When she left, I felt alone. I bought boxes, the use and throw ones to put my food, I don’t have the heart to throw it away, not when mother looks so prideful of her cooking, not when she says she put her soul into making it for me. So I take it to one of the children sitting on the pavement early in the morning before the police comes strolling. They look at me with loving eyes when I walk by, looking at me with such hope, if I would do any more for them._

_** Panic!** _

_I felt myself losing all contact with reality as I crumpled the paper in my hand into my fist._ _There was a light sound of water dripping, a faint footstep followed by a clumsy one, some sobs, some shrieks._

_**Black. Breathe. Once. Twice. Thrice. Again. Come on! Get up! BREATHE, please…** _

_My eyes shot open._

_ ** Breathe. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.** _

_ I could hear your voice from inside_ _ the cabinet. How long have I been here? How long have **you** been here for? _

_I tried getting up, finally getting a grip on myself. But I knew better than to get out this instance. I sat on the toilet seat without making a single noise, I didn’t know what was going on behind closed doors, I intended to keep it that way._

_My phone lit up in the corner, the same horrendous corner I was just crumpled against._

**Doie **

Tae, Where are you?

Plwase

PLEAE

Tae….

wahsroom

Im gonns

taeoyng

wahsroom yongie,

Where

Yongie…… breathe …….. hard….

tae.

** Jaehyun**

Doyoungs...

Please

Quick

IM IN THE WASHROOM 

NEXT OT THE LIBRAR Y 

HE'S IDK TAEYONG

HE'S HAVING A PANIX ATTACK

thiS doesnT LOOK NORMAL TAE

TAEYONG PLEASE RUSH 

_Reality slapped me in the face, the person on the other side of the door was **Doyoung**._

_The atmosphere suddenly changed, the door shut with a loud thud. Silence. _

_The water was cold, or I was extremely warm but it felt good against my skin. My face had been burning and I was extremely red. I stepped out, slowly walking towards the cafe near the library, I needed water, cold water. _

_“_ _You’re a shit friend.” I heard a whisper from behind me, only to meet with thin air when I suddenly turned around. _

_“He needed you tae.” I heard it again, now from my left. _

_“Doie, he needed you.” I heard it from my right. _

_“Taeyong, Doyoung PA” I now heard a voice calling from a distance. I could recognize this voice anywhere, it was Ten. “Now! Mr. Byun’s room, please, I have class.” He yelled suddenly jolting up the stairs. _

_Grabbing my water, I rushed up to Mr. Byun’s room. I knew exactly what was happening and why he was there in that room. _

_“God, Tae where were you? ” Your voice was a mistune of anger and hurt. "I tried..." A soft whisper from the boy behind you stopped you from saying whatever your eyes told me that your mouth wouldn't. _

_Doyoung let his hand out of his pocket, quietly extending it, waiting for me to put mine on top. No words needed, I knew exactly how to make my gummy boy smile again. It would take time, yes, but it would happen nonetheless, it always did. _

_That night Doyoung slept over, I don’t think he’d want to go back home knowing home was just a giant apartment away from the rest of the world. _

_It was perfect; mother was working late and father, well, when was my father ever home? Everything seemed easy, we were in my bed, with me munching on Doyoung’s favorite snacks and him drowning in one of my overly large hoodies, ones that we bought together years ago for comfort because we couldn’t always be there for each other. I held him close, like never before, like my touch would send my apologies instead of my words. It had worked **before**, it had to work **now**. _

_And it did. _

_Mother set breakfast for both of us, she senses it somehow, when Doie feels bad, when he feels broken. He doesn’t have to speak for either one of us to understand. There have been endless sleepovers in my house, with Doyoung breaking into shreds, me picking him up and fixing him while my mother watched with a heavy heart from the corner. _

_The gummy smile was back by 6 in the morning, with him yelling breakfast and me yelling shut up. _ _We had breakfast together which ended with my mother caressing him like the little baby he is and me watching them like my world revolved around them. _

_This also meant I finally had food in four days. My head felt heavy, my stomach growled, as if there was a giant living inside me and my eyes watered in pain. But I put a facade on, I was great at that and stepped down to devour happiness, finally. _

_The crumpled paper is now in the box, I won’t open it again, I can’t bring myself to do so. I’ll wait, until I finish this chapter and move on my next one, whenever that is...._

* * *


End file.
